What Makes Me Angry

Hey [insert your name here]!!

I learned to rationalize that anger is not useful. It doesn’t help the situation. In fact, it often makes any situation worse.

That suppression has had its impact on me. I believe that this has been a variable in my depression.

My good friend, Peter, from many years ago, said that what I needed, was to express more anger.

Not much makes me angry. However, what gets me most frustrated and upset, is when I ask people what their name is, and they do not answer the question. Instead, they say things like:

“Don’t you remember me?”
“We’ve known each other for two years!”
“Guess…”
“Why can’t you remember who I am?”
“I’m the guy you met at that party.”
“My God, I just saw you two hours ago!”

I explain to people that I am legally blind and cannot recognize people. But that just seems to go right over many people’s head.

Some of them have gotten really upset. They think I’m being rude. They are insulted that it has been all of five times that we’ve met, and that I still can’t recognize who they are.

Other people expect me to recognize their voices. “Well, you must have super hearing,” they presume. Apparently, the media teaches that people who are blind have all their other senses heighted.

I don’t. In fact, I don’t think my hearing is even close to being perfect. For example, I’m tone deaf.

Also, as much as I love smelling women, it is socially unacceptable to get intimately close to every woman I meet. Need we discuss touch and taste?

And here is where it gets very complicated… Some try tell me their first name, but “Dave”, “Christina”, or even “Mohammed”, don’t help.

It’s the double-edge sword of being such a great networker. I know about 32 Dave’s (not including David’s), 25 Christina’s (not including spelling variations), and 10 Mohammed’s.

How do I recognize the people that I do? Some of them, I’ve known for many years and am familiar with their energies. Others have a very unique fashion sense or hairstyle which makes their appearance easily identifiable.

Most of the time, it’s not the optics of sight that sees, but the intelligence of a mind that knows (based on timing, memory, protocol, context, or other information).

The rest of the time, I’m guessing and using my intuition. Many times, my guesses are wrong. I apologize, but some people don’t accept my apology and continue to feel insulted.

I’ve heard through friends, that some people actually think I’m a fraud. They see me walking and being functional, and assume I am fully sighted, thinking that I lie about being blind. Once, a woman even thought I carried fake ID when I tried to prove my blindness to her through my blind ID card.

A few have tried to make justifications for these ignorant people. “They see you as being normal. That should be a compliment to you”.

For the first time that I tell them, yes, I understand that that is a compliment. But when it happens a second time with the same person, it means either they didn’t listen to me, they don’t believe me, or they have a hard time remembering important information. Here, I am forgiving.

My complaint is with those I have told numerous times, and they still don’t get it. More importantly, I believe they don’t want to get it.

And that’s what makes me upset the most.

What will it be like when I become a celebrity?

Let’s love the world together…

Love,
[)anish /|hmed, blind visionary