Hey there everyone!!
I hate people who complain about people who complain. (I exaggerate for poetic effect.)
It seems that great ideas get taken to the extreme as they are popularized. It’s a good idea not to complain excessively, but everything in life is best done in balance and moderation. The personal development industry is guilty of this, I believe, as it talks about the law of attraction, the news media, and gossip (to name a few).
So what are the benefits of complaining?
1. Complaining is an emotional outlet.
Have you heard the expression “get it off my chest?” It’s a natural human condition to want to be self-expressed, especially when dealing with an incident that has significant impact.
While complaining in our journals, in our heads, or to a psychiatrist may cause fewer casualties, the bonding experience of complaining to a good friend has the added benefit of them knowing our history intimately, and loving us back unconditionally.
2. Complaining is therapeutic.
When we discern the preferences of our soul in this reality, then we have the power to either feel grateful for what we have, or be inspired to transform some of it. Articulating what we do not like keeps us from suppressing negative feelings, anger, and resentment.
The therapy may not just be for ourselves, but for the ones who we are sharing our complaints with. For example, I wish I complained more about my sight limitations when I was growing up, because now I realize that many people who didn’t understand my limits would have so loved to help me overcome them.
3. Complaining is a social pass time.
Complaining is what we do as a society in order to evolve it. If we complain about the traffic to someone, could they not potentially tell us about an alternative route we hadn’t considered? If we complain about the weather to a stranger, doesn’t it feel good just to connect in eye contact, conversation, and a shared experience?
If the referee in a sporting match makes an obvious mistake, aren’t the fans to complain? Complaining is a part of life, and it is our apathy and reluctance towards complaining that allows criminals to get away with murder.
4. Complaining can be a source of comparison.
We can uncover a great deal of information when we share complaints with our social networks. Is our concern a common concern, or are we making a mountain out of a molehill? Are our challenges isolated, or are our problems simply a part of most people’s lives?
As I hear some people complain about their circumstances, I understand that I have no problems (by comparison). That communication isn’t negative or detrimental to me; in fact, those complaints can be the most inspiring.
5. Complaining can become a pathway to goals.
How do we know what we want? We can start from what we don’t want. While what we don’t want isn’t necessarily a good goal in itself, it can be the genesis of discovering our goal.
Don’t get upset with complainers – Instead, listen and offer solutions to their challenges. Sometimes when we complain, someone else may provide us an idea, a perspective, or a resource that could dramatically reduce our complaint (if not transform our lives).
Constructive criticism has its place, especially in the professional world. With our family, friends, and social circles, let’s not be so uptight and pretend to be perfect. And even businesses don’t usually have a “constructive criticism department” but some of them do have a complaints department.
People will always do more when they know we have a “situation” as opposed to someone merely offering an informal suggestion.
Let’s love the world together…
[)anish /|hmed, blind visionary
P.S. Back to the original good idea of “no complaining”, try going 7 straight days without complaining (not even once, or you start over). Then watch how your life starts changing!