Hey there everyone!!
Growing up depressed and suicidal, I noticed how dysfunctional the entire world was. Yet, the world was still functioning. How?
It was simple nuggets of wisdom that would make sense out of the chaos. The first wise words I heard were the Ultimate Success Formula (Tony Robbins’) which would give me anything I wanted out of my life.
Seeing that formula for the first time was the turning point in my life. And applying the formula for the next/last twenty years has proved to be very fruitful.
Despite how profound that formula may be, it has its limits. There have been many times in my life where I was stuck, and the Ultimate Success Formula was just not applicable. How did I survive? Here are a few cases:
1. We don’t know what we don’t know (or won’t remember).
Blocking out traumatic moments/memories is a biological mechanism for our own survival. There have been many experiences from my childhood that I cannot remember, probably because they were initially difficult for me to accept or cope with. Yet, these experiences are unconsciously controlling some of my behaviors.
I was so socially isolated and always ate lunch by myself in high-school (even though I hated to be by myself). One day, a new classmate starting making small talk with me. She asked me who I usually ate lunch with and I didn’t have an answer for her. “You can eat lunch with me” she said in such an inviting voice. But I just ignored her. Why?
It wasn’t until many years of introspection, personal development, and spiritual growth that in retrospect, I realized how immature and rude no response was. I wish I could go back in time and apologize; I really didn’t have a choice in the moment based on my lack of experience/self-esteem.
2. Necessity is the mother of invention.
Though I didn’t want to be depressed, I had no clue that human connection would be a great remedy (in fact I hated talking to people). Once I became aware of this, I created a huge WHY for myself and took massive action in a variety of strategies.
But how could someone who couldn’t see approach new people for conversations? I tried that old trick of sitting beside empty chairs in the hopes that someone would sit beside me. Looking different and (to some frightful) causes most people not to sit close to me. One day in Boston I was at an event and sat at a table with an empty seat. Soon a lady approaches and says “Is this seat taken?” Excitedly, I say, “No, it’s free!” She says “Great” and then proceeds to take the chair away to her table of friends, leaving me alone without even an empty chair.
Not massive action, but rather serenity and faith would get me over this hurdle in my life.
3. Guardian angels protect.
I knew what I wanted, and why—it was death. But my approaches weren’t working despite their simplicity. How hard could it be??? In one incident in my teenage years, I tried to overdose on sixty hits of acid. Luckily, the hits turned out to be duds.
How did I survive? From psychiatry to pharmaceuticals, I felt like a guinea pig used for experimentation. It wasn’t a fun experience, but in retrospect, it could have been a lot worse with just one bad move. Looking back it seems that I had somehow managed to navigate through a minefield of hazards that could have made my life tragic.
True or not, it feels good to know that there might be a secret team of angelic beings working around the clock to nudge circumstances in our favor. Sometimes the angels are unsuspecting strangers. 🙂
4. Life is a series of miracles.
What are the chances that you are reading this right now? Wait, let’s take a step back. What are the chances that you are alive? You were one sperm cell that won the race against millions of other sperm cells. You are the winner. Welcome to your reward. Feel lucky now.
Through such thin threads of connection we find such special relationships. From serendipitous circumstances, we make huge achievements in our lives. Sometimes through gifted talent, we leave a legacy to the world. How cool is all of that?
Whatever it is we want, we will probably need to change our approach many times to finally achieve it. Ironically, that approach may be to finally be at peace, have a little patience, and say a little prayer. That’s not wishful thinking; it is soulful being, knowing that another miracle will come.
Tony Robbins also said that “The only way to get beyond survival — is to start beyond it”. That means, assume the previous four points are all true. How will you survive? Have an attitude of expectation. These are your resources, your lotions and potions, to be with you on your beautiful life journey. As Bill Hicks says, “Enjoy the ride!”
Let’s love the world together…
[)anish /|hmed, blind visionary
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