3 Nuggets to The Art of Conversation

Hi there everyone!!

Do you want to feel more love and connection in your life? One way to accomplish this is to have more conversations! It’s that simple.

Think about it… Have you ever been in an elevator with a dozen people and nobody said a word to each other? Why do we sometimes hesitate and stop ourselves from initiating a conversation? We have that voice in our head that says things like, “That person is busy, I don’t want to interrupt them,” “They won’t like talking to me, I have nothing interesting to say,” “I don’t have time to get into a serious conversation right now,” “I’m new here, and everyone will think I’m weird,” or “I’ll get rejected anyway, why even bother?” The list goes on.

1. How to Start a Conversation with Anybody

Yesterday, when I was sitting on the train, I overheard a couple of women talking. One woman said to the other, “This train is going southbound.” I jumped-in and helped, “Actually, it’s going northbound.” “Oh, that’s perfect — we’re going to our yoga class,” they responded. I had tried hot-yoga a couple of times so I asked them about it. The conversation progressed, and it turned out that one of the ladies was from Montreal and didn’t know exactly how to get to her destination. I walked with her and we had a great conversation and really connected.

Initiating a conversation is all about listening and finding common ground. It doesn’t matter if it’s a stranger, a co-worker, or a lover — we are all human beings with many different and many similar experiences. There is always some common ground we can connect with and start our conversation from. If we relax, appreciate, and listen with interest, our brain will find common ground. For example, we could be thinking to ourselves, “That’s a great looking sweater,” “They remind me of that actor,” or “This is not the way to Main Street!” The key is, to take action, jump-in, and express your thoughts to them. That’s the beginning of your conversation together.

2. A Conversation is a Natural and Instinctive Process

With so many mediums of communication today, we’ve forgotten the art of conversation. Most communication mediums are typically results-oriented. That is, if you’re sending an e-mail, a fax, or even leaving a voice mail message, chances are you have a specific topic to discuss with a specific purpose. Now, if we have that same mentality with conversations, then those conversations may feel artificial, unnatural, and we certainly won’t feel emotionally fulfilled or connected.

Listening. That’s the foundation of a natural and instinctive conversation. Conversations flow when we’re truly being present to the other person, and not thinking about what we’re going to say. But how do you know what to say when it’s your turn? Put yourself in the other person’s shoes, think about a time you might have felt the same way. How did that feel? You could express this to the other person. This will create relatedness and rapport.

3. Good Conversation Will Lead to Anything, and Everything

There’s no logical structure to a conversation. One thought doesn’t need to connect perfectly to the previous thought. Say whatever comes into your mind. Haven’t you noticed that some of your most interesting conversations are when you jump from one topic to another to another? That’s the art of conversation!

Several years ago I got together with a friend for a social lunch. We talked about life and the universe. What’s interesting is that towards the end of the conversation, he incidentally told me about his girlfriend’s father who is a speaker I may want to connect with. Well, that person is Raymond Aaron, co-author of Chicken Soup for the Canadian Soul, and he later became a mentor, helping me to develop my product line and create my company brand. A simple conversation can lead to something that significantly improves our lives.

Conversations are the juice of life.

Practicing is powerful, and it’s a great way to begin. Be out there, go to events, meet with friends and get to know their friends, talk to people, ignore your fears, take risks, just do it!

I wish you a talkative day, living life with full self-expression. You have a lot to share and much to contribute to others.

Let’s love the world together…

Love,
Danish Ahmed, blind visionary